Dear Reader Letter
Hello my name is Steve I am originally from England but I had previously lived in British Columbia for about a year and a half before I moved to Washington State since October 2009. After leaving high school in 2007 I attended West Cheshire College doing a BTEC in Interactive Media Design so I am a trained 3D computer graphic modeller. I enjoy audio books since hearing somebody tell a show seems a better way than reading a story. At least when listing to a story it has the advantage of being able to do thinks like drive or exercise. I have always disliked writing in nearly all forms because why would you want to write down about life when you could be out there living it. I have rarely written anything other than the bare minimum for school since I hate writing. The college in the UK had already focused on the specific skills and talents that I would need to be completely successful in the chosen career therefore I did not need to study English anymore which was a win for hating writing. Even though I do not see the point of having to take English class again, I have taken English to complete the educational goals that I need to get my degree in Fire Science and to become a trained fireman at Everett Community College.
My writing skills have always been in my ability to use my imagination to develop ideas when I have the right rationale to do so. My skills in writing in complete sentences have vastly improved now I understand the methods of creating and joining main clauses including the proper use of grammar and punctuation. I credit this improvement to the increase of motivation for writing; since, I want to be a fireman and at this college I need to have excellent English skills for the technical degree as a fireman.
The work I have decided to showcase on this portfolio is from English 97. The major writing assessments titled “The Paradise of Desenzano del Garda”, “Leaving the United Kingdom” “The Master Class to the Art of Driving like an Idiot” as well as the journal “Why I Want to be a Fireman” are included in my portfolio. The first writing task I did will show the growth in the last 2 months in English 97. In total there are five pieces of work.
I believe everyone has a group of stories that make up their life but even when life takes a different path you have to remember that with the end of one story there is a beginning of another. I hope you enjoy a few chosen stories of my life.
Thanks Steve.
My writing skills have always been in my ability to use my imagination to develop ideas when I have the right rationale to do so. My skills in writing in complete sentences have vastly improved now I understand the methods of creating and joining main clauses including the proper use of grammar and punctuation. I credit this improvement to the increase of motivation for writing; since, I want to be a fireman and at this college I need to have excellent English skills for the technical degree as a fireman.
The work I have decided to showcase on this portfolio is from English 97. The major writing assessments titled “The Paradise of Desenzano del Garda”, “Leaving the United Kingdom” “The Master Class to the Art of Driving like an Idiot” as well as the journal “Why I Want to be a Fireman” are included in my portfolio. The first writing task I did will show the growth in the last 2 months in English 97. In total there are five pieces of work.
I believe everyone has a group of stories that make up their life but even when life takes a different path you have to remember that with the end of one story there is a beginning of another. I hope you enjoy a few chosen stories of my life.
Thanks Steve.
Introduction to The Benchmark
The Benchmark
A benchmark paper was written about 10 minutes after entering the class room of English 97. The subject of the papers is the travel I did in the summer of 2006 to the Italian town of Desenzano del Garda. The whole idea to write this paper was to show how much I have improved since starting English 97. It was not until the end of the course that I could see how poor the writing used to be.
A benchmark paper was written about 10 minutes after entering the class room of English 97. The subject of the papers is the travel I did in the summer of 2006 to the Italian town of Desenzano del Garda. The whole idea to write this paper was to show how much I have improved since starting English 97. It was not until the end of the course that I could see how poor the writing used to be.
The Benchmark
In the summer of 2006 I went to Italy with my mate Matt, we had taken the flight from John Lennon Airport in Liverpool to the Italian city of Milan. From there we had taken a bus to the train station when we had got to the station we were epically hungry since it was 10pm. The train would leave in 20 minutes. So we sent off matt’s dad to find some food. Matt’s dad had taken the tickets with him so as we were waiting the Italian train conductor got mad at us because he had thought we were free loading on the train. It was a heated 10 minute standoff. Till matt’s dad had returned with the tickets and food and the train was on the way. About one and a half hours later we had gotten to Lake Garden in the town of Desenzano at about midnight. The change from Ellesmere Port was amazing.
Introduction to The Paradise of Desenzano del Garda
This paper is a descriptive paragraph about the Italian town of Desenzano del Garda. It was written about 3nd week into the class. The assignment was to describe a person place or object using a dominant impression. I describe it as the reader is walking around the town. I picked the town of Desenzano del Garda because it is one of the most beautiful towns I have ever seen and had recently written about that holiday at the start of the class. The strengths as a writer this papers show is my ability to show not tell the town with simple yet effective use of words. ”gelato, which is a thick creamy taste of frozen heaven” Every time I read this part of the sentence it makes be crave the gelato ice cream but the best piece of descriptive writing in this paper must be “A magical metamorphosis as the sky transforms into the most golden and blue colours that anyone could imagine, making the marble of the ancient stones of the Piazza Malvezzi glow in harmony with nature’s true wonder.” If after you have read the descriptive paper and still do not want to go see the town then I have failed to describe the true beauty that this town emits.
Paradise of Desenzano del Garda
Desenzano Del Garda is an ancient holiday town in the northern province of Brescia in Italy that is as close to paradise as humanly possible. The stone houses built at the time of renaissance Italy and the square stone cobbled streets that flow down the hill to the harbour gave the town an air of supreme wealth. The harbour has a small brown stone hexagonal lighthouse and a wooden mooring dock which is full of white luxurious sailing boats. Next to that there was an ancient solid wooden ferry terminal that connects Desenzano with the rest of the towns on the lake Lago di Garda. The weather in the summer has a cooling fresh breeze from the lake that counteracts the beaming hot sun. It’s perfect weather for the beach that is a mixture of beautiful pebbles, just a short walk from the harbour. From the beach you can see for many miles as the clear waters merges with the sky above. The sun shines on the horizon as the Alps try to separate the lake from the sky. As you walk back through the streets to the heart of the town, there is a wonderful smell of fresh baked pizza and pasta wafting from the homes and restaurants as you pass by. The tastes of pizza and pasta were a clear yet fresh taste that can only be from the fresh ingredient and expert baking of the Italian chefs. The only taste that surpasses the pizza is the gelato, which is a thick creamy taste of frozen heaven.
When the sun descends over the horizon, the town goes through a magical metamorphosis as the sky transforms into the most golden and blue colours that anyone could imagine, making the marble of the ancient stones of the Piazza Malvezzi glow in harmony with nature’s true wonder. After the sun has set, the moon takes its majestic place over the lake and shines down across the lake refracting the magic back to the still buzzing Piazza Malvezzi. The restaurants, bars, concerts and festivals of the summer resonate with the joy and cheer of the local people that lasts well into the early morning, making Desenzano del Garda a magical and picture perfect place that you must go to experience for yourself.
Why I want to be a Fireman
I want to be educated with the skills and knowledge that will give me the best chance to survive in life. Everyone in the world will experience a fire, a crash or a disaster. While most people try and avoid these types of situations fireman go head first into the problem to save others. They do this because they have the training that will help save people that are in many dangerous situations that life may have in store. I am pursuing the fire service rather than a military career because I do not want the act taking someone else’s life on my soul. The fire service seems to be close to army discipline without what I consider many of the disadvantages like having to live on base and be ordered to move without your choice. I am looking forward to undertaking my first live fire training day since it will be the first time that it will be real fire to train. I am excited about becoming a fireman because once in the job the band of brothers that I can rely on to be standing next to be in dangerous tasks.
Introduction to Leaving the United Kingdom
The paper titled Leaving the United Kingdom is a descriptive narrative about some of the events I got up to in the few weeks before leaving the England. This paper was written in the 6th week of class and was the second major writing assignment. The assignment was to combine the two rhetorical modes of writing narrative and descriptive. I picked the event of leaving the UK as it was one of the bigger events of my recent life. I think the strong skills I show in this paper is the ability to combine the two writing modes successfully. An example of this is “We were the first to arrive at the reception, we waited on the stone porch of the garden drinking the pink champagne and looking out at the picture perfect view of the willow trees leaning over the pond at the bottom of the massive grass lawn.” I think this proves that in the art of descriptive narratives I have learnt the needed skills to be successful.
Leaving the United Kingdom
The last weeks in the United Kingdom with all my friends and family were the most epic of all my memories l have with them all. They were the golden cap on the painful goodbye to everyone I knew and loved. It was a shame I had to leave the UK to move with family to Canada then on to America so my dad could work for Microsoft, but staying in the UK would have not been the same place without having close family.
It all kicked off on a Friday in June 2008 with a pre-leaving house party to start the weeks of partying off with a bang. The party was at my house since my mum was on a hen weekend with all girls for my cousin’s wedding and my dad was in Kenya teaching people how to use computers. I had invited everyone from my college course plus Matt, who has been a best mate since we were young, to my house to drink as much as possible on my newly finished decking that I had spent the last 2 weekends building before we moved out and our tenets moved in. We basically drank a mountain of booze that everyone had come with and rocked our faces off to the massive stereo until the sun came up in the garden. The next memory was of the midday sun full in the sky with the sound of “Ladies and gentlemen, you already know what it is” blazing from the stereo that was streaming though the French doors of the house from the night before. In the morning we cleaned up all the empty beer bottles and cans into a 3 foot square plant pot which we filled.
The official Leaving do was on a Tuesday the next week and was a lot more civilized than my first house party. It was held at my local Shell Workers Club across the road from my house, which is pub with event rooms for the use of the community or employees’ of the Shell Fuel Refinery. It was all arranged by my parents and consisted of family and friends some of which I had not seen in over a year. The disc jockeying was done by a family friend and had an amazing laser show and also Karaoke, which I slaughtered by singing the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams later that night after I had a few too many to hear how bad I was singing. After that I had drunkenly walked to get a bag of chips and sausage from the Woodland’s chippie; indeed, those chips have never tasted so good.
The Friday after the leaving party, I went to see a band with Paul an old family friend. At the Shell Club it was a lot of fun. The band was called the Mustard Club an Indie band, the drummer turned out to be a science teacher from my high school who had given up teaching to rock. They did covers of The Who, Oasis, The Eagles and their own song 232425 “Where do you want to be when your 23?” sang Mark the leader singer
“You will be crying out for more when your 24,”Sang the Bassist.
“Are you happy with your life now your 25?” Sang the James the drummer
“I Don’t Know, I Don’t Know,” The band sang together. About halfway through the gig we left to find a better pub in Paul’s amazing BMW which handled the country lane like they were completely smooth. On either side of the car were the empty black fields that surrounded the curving road. We tried the mega bowl on the Cheshire Oaks, but it was nearly empty so we headed to Chester about 10 miles south of Ellesmere Port. We headed to the Cross Foxes for the pool tables cheap beer and dart boards. It was packed full of people all squeezing together to fit next to the bar in this tiny pub. Most of the people in pub were mainly from Chester University. We played a few rounds of pool and darts upstairs then headed to a house party on the way back to the port. The next day after packing up most of the items in the house, I had arranged to meet the Big Phil Matty and Josh at Mega Bowl around six pm a glorious break from partying. The lads had wanted to play 10 pin bowling this was a much needed slow partying day since packing up the house for moving had made me tired. Keeping up with Big Phil was like trying to out-drink a cement mixer, which is impossible but fun to try. That was the last night I stayed in my house that I had spent a lot of time and energy repairing and building a better garden. From then on I was crashing with Matt for a week until my flight out to Canada.
The weekend after moving out of my house, my cousin Kate got married to Mark an Irish man. It was the best weddings I had gone to that summer. The wedding service was done in a high church fashion. The church itself was sandstone church with gold trimmings and beaming light through the stain glass window onto the alter area. Mark stood at the altar wearing his family tartan kilt as Kate walked down the aisle in amazing white dress with the green tartan down the back. There was a classical string trio playing at the side of the church. About halfway into the service, my Nan had fallen off the chair probably from the hot weather and emotion of the wedding. She was when rushed off to the Countess of Chester Hospital. Both my mum and Aunt Trisha went with her to make sure she was ok. After the wedding service, everyone headed to the reception me and my brother went in the same minibus as my Aunt Sue and Uncle Chris, the Bride’s parents. We were the first to arrive at the reception, and we waited on the stone porch of the garden, drinking the pink champagne and looking out at the picture perfect view of the willow trees leaning over the pond at the bottom of the massive grass lawn. It took about an hour for everyone to arrive at the hotel for a reception meal. After that a lot more guests arrived for the evening’s entertainment and the celebrations began. The best men and the ushers did “O Macdonald Had a Farm” with animal thongs, lifting there kilts up at the right time. The Life O'Riley band was pumping energy and excitement into the whole room with their Irish songs as the singer was dancing on the tables and jumping all round the room. By the end of the night the singer was half naked. It was so amazing that they are now banned from that hotel. At the end of the night the whole hotel had been drank dry of all its booze. There is only one nation that can out drink the British that is the Irish.
The last few weeks I spent with all my friends and family were some of the better times I have spent with them, even with the knowledge I would be moving and would not see most of them ever again. It just made every last day count even more. I don’t think I could have made any more use of time to say goodbye to everyone those weeks were the end of an epic era of my life. I just cannot wait to go back to the UK in the summer because North America is driving me crazy.
It all kicked off on a Friday in June 2008 with a pre-leaving house party to start the weeks of partying off with a bang. The party was at my house since my mum was on a hen weekend with all girls for my cousin’s wedding and my dad was in Kenya teaching people how to use computers. I had invited everyone from my college course plus Matt, who has been a best mate since we were young, to my house to drink as much as possible on my newly finished decking that I had spent the last 2 weekends building before we moved out and our tenets moved in. We basically drank a mountain of booze that everyone had come with and rocked our faces off to the massive stereo until the sun came up in the garden. The next memory was of the midday sun full in the sky with the sound of “Ladies and gentlemen, you already know what it is” blazing from the stereo that was streaming though the French doors of the house from the night before. In the morning we cleaned up all the empty beer bottles and cans into a 3 foot square plant pot which we filled.
The official Leaving do was on a Tuesday the next week and was a lot more civilized than my first house party. It was held at my local Shell Workers Club across the road from my house, which is pub with event rooms for the use of the community or employees’ of the Shell Fuel Refinery. It was all arranged by my parents and consisted of family and friends some of which I had not seen in over a year. The disc jockeying was done by a family friend and had an amazing laser show and also Karaoke, which I slaughtered by singing the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams later that night after I had a few too many to hear how bad I was singing. After that I had drunkenly walked to get a bag of chips and sausage from the Woodland’s chippie; indeed, those chips have never tasted so good.
The Friday after the leaving party, I went to see a band with Paul an old family friend. At the Shell Club it was a lot of fun. The band was called the Mustard Club an Indie band, the drummer turned out to be a science teacher from my high school who had given up teaching to rock. They did covers of The Who, Oasis, The Eagles and their own song 232425 “Where do you want to be when your 23?” sang Mark the leader singer
“You will be crying out for more when your 24,”Sang the Bassist.
“Are you happy with your life now your 25?” Sang the James the drummer
“I Don’t Know, I Don’t Know,” The band sang together. About halfway through the gig we left to find a better pub in Paul’s amazing BMW which handled the country lane like they were completely smooth. On either side of the car were the empty black fields that surrounded the curving road. We tried the mega bowl on the Cheshire Oaks, but it was nearly empty so we headed to Chester about 10 miles south of Ellesmere Port. We headed to the Cross Foxes for the pool tables cheap beer and dart boards. It was packed full of people all squeezing together to fit next to the bar in this tiny pub. Most of the people in pub were mainly from Chester University. We played a few rounds of pool and darts upstairs then headed to a house party on the way back to the port. The next day after packing up most of the items in the house, I had arranged to meet the Big Phil Matty and Josh at Mega Bowl around six pm a glorious break from partying. The lads had wanted to play 10 pin bowling this was a much needed slow partying day since packing up the house for moving had made me tired. Keeping up with Big Phil was like trying to out-drink a cement mixer, which is impossible but fun to try. That was the last night I stayed in my house that I had spent a lot of time and energy repairing and building a better garden. From then on I was crashing with Matt for a week until my flight out to Canada.
The weekend after moving out of my house, my cousin Kate got married to Mark an Irish man. It was the best weddings I had gone to that summer. The wedding service was done in a high church fashion. The church itself was sandstone church with gold trimmings and beaming light through the stain glass window onto the alter area. Mark stood at the altar wearing his family tartan kilt as Kate walked down the aisle in amazing white dress with the green tartan down the back. There was a classical string trio playing at the side of the church. About halfway into the service, my Nan had fallen off the chair probably from the hot weather and emotion of the wedding. She was when rushed off to the Countess of Chester Hospital. Both my mum and Aunt Trisha went with her to make sure she was ok. After the wedding service, everyone headed to the reception me and my brother went in the same minibus as my Aunt Sue and Uncle Chris, the Bride’s parents. We were the first to arrive at the reception, and we waited on the stone porch of the garden, drinking the pink champagne and looking out at the picture perfect view of the willow trees leaning over the pond at the bottom of the massive grass lawn. It took about an hour for everyone to arrive at the hotel for a reception meal. After that a lot more guests arrived for the evening’s entertainment and the celebrations began. The best men and the ushers did “O Macdonald Had a Farm” with animal thongs, lifting there kilts up at the right time. The Life O'Riley band was pumping energy and excitement into the whole room with their Irish songs as the singer was dancing on the tables and jumping all round the room. By the end of the night the singer was half naked. It was so amazing that they are now banned from that hotel. At the end of the night the whole hotel had been drank dry of all its booze. There is only one nation that can out drink the British that is the Irish.
The last few weeks I spent with all my friends and family were some of the better times I have spent with them, even with the knowledge I would be moving and would not see most of them ever again. It just made every last day count even more. I don’t think I could have made any more use of time to say goodbye to everyone those weeks were the end of an epic era of my life. I just cannot wait to go back to the UK in the summer because North America is driving me crazy.
Introduction to Driving like an Idiot
The master class to the art of driving like an idiot is a process essay that tells the reader the key point that makes an idiot driver and how to drive like an idiot. I wrote this paper to the end of the class about two months after starting the class. I have chosen this paper to show off my ability to write a process with a little bit of humour as well. “If you cannot read every bumper sticker on their car then you need to get closer” This is an example of the type of humour and directions that were in the process essay.
The Master Class to the Art of Driving Like an Idiot
Have you ever been driving down the road and all of a sudden you spot some idiot doing a dangerous and stupid maneuver, like cutting across two lanes in front of you to get into the fast lane then drive slower than you? Unlike the popular belief that idiot drivers are born with such an idiotic flare; in fact, it takes many years of hard work and total dedication to get to a decent level of an idiot driver on the road. If you follow these steps, you too will soon acquire the skills to be all you can be, just like the best of the idiot drivers so what does it take to drive like an idiot?
When trying to drive like an idiot, the most important thing is not to worry about all other traffic on the roads since most people will drive around you or keep their distance. So first of all make sure that all your mirrors are positioned so it’s impossible to see other traffic. To do this you can make the grime on the glass far too thick to look passed. Also it would help if the mirrors were pointed to the floor or off into the sun but with real skill the idiot driver can get all the mirrors to show their reflection for any last minute cosmetic touch-ups that they need to do when driving.
Secondly and probably more importantly is always drive at a speed that feels right to you and let the rest of the road users follow. A good guide for choosing your favorite speed would be either go 20 mph over or under the speed limit. Extra points for driving super slowly in the fast lane or taking two lanes up at a time with your super heavy duty truck because that will show the other road users you mean business.
The driving position is one of the defining traits of any idiot driver. The most advanced position to accomplish is to put one arm over the passenger seat with the other on the roof of the car using your knees to make those vital lane changes or turns. For the busy driver that simply does not have the time to relax when driving there is another hands free opinion that is a simpler but just as advanced position. Hold your phone texting in one hand with the other hand hold a cigarette as well as the steering wheel, extra idiot points are awarded for the use of a manual transmission when striking this position.
The mark of a truly great idiot driver is in the lane change. With a lot of practice you too can master the close call lane change that is the bread and butter of the idiot driver’s arsenal. The main secret to the lane change is always remember if you move they will part and always thank the other car for letting you in with a nice wave because everyone loves a good thank you.
The use of space when driving is important even when being an idiot. Here is the master rule when following another car. If you cannot read every bumper sticker on their car then you need to get closer. If you just follow this one rule when choosing how close to drive behind somebody you will have mastered the art of tail gating somebody. It does not matter that in an event of a crash all damages will be claimed on your insurance or even that the person may be an idiot driver too and turn off the road without indicating but the show of the real idiot is driving by sheer luck alone and not shy away from danger or stupidity.
The miss use of all the lights on the car is the next defining skill that you must master before you can be a true idiot. The most important lesson being never at any point to use the indicators, for they are for the weak hearted and not the skilled idiot. For night driving remember to have the interior lights on so that at any time you can check your mirrors for any stray hairs or see your phone. Your car was build with full beam so use them to help the rest of the road users to become idiot drivers too and make them point the light away from their faces by changing the mirrors since you must do all you can to educate the rest of the road users.
With these simple yet effective tips on becoming an idiot driver you too will be showing off your impressive driving abilities to all other road users in no time at all. As you rack up the traffic violation tickets wear them as badges of honor or display them on the back of your car as trophies to show your idiot prosaic. Remember when people honk and swear it just means they love you too, happy motoring.
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